Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today. We’re all holding onto something we’re sure we can’t give up on, but research shows that letting go can boost our happiness a lot more than we might think. Moshe Ratson, MBA, LMFT, is a psychotherapist and executive coach in New York City.

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If your parents were strict, they might have tended to punish, ignore or abandon you when you tried to express your feelings or needs. This may have led you to suppress your thoughts or needs. Some people believe that assertiveness is an innate trait that cannot visit https://koreadates.org/ be developed. However, assertiveness is a skill that can be learned and practiced.

Then consider how you would go about incorporating those same traits into your own persona. Even though any witnesses would see that the other person is being the antagonist, you might end up being seen as the jerk if you call them out on their behavior. Some religions also promote meek, obedient, subservient behavior in their followers. While this may be great for promoting overall gentleness and kindness between flock members, it’s far from ideal when one is being mistreated or taken advantage of. People who were dominated by their parents often have difficulty being assertive when they get older.

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• “You” statements make some claim, usually negative, about the other person in the conflict.
• They make for succinct and direct communication, which leads to stronger dialogue and more clarity.
• Consider that as you search yourself for self-limiting beliefs.
• If your parents were overly reliant on you, you might have also felt the need to suppress your thoughts or needs in order to protect their feelings.

Being firm to your beliefs can help bring other peoples true feelings to the surface. So through the good and the bad, it’s the right thing to do. Standing up to people means facing challenges and fears head on in most cases.

Movies abound where someone shy and afraid finds her voice and delivers such a verbal tongue lashing that she is never bothered, again. Finally, I’ve responded to your question on the assumption that you’re not in danger but have developed a habit of allowing others to disrespect and disregard you. If it’s worse than that—if you are being bullied—I urge you to seek safety and professional help. But if it’s a story, then, like other stories, it has power to shape our interpretations of events and our behavior. In other words, to some degree our capacity to change our behaviors and outcomes depends on the belief that we can do so.

You might do this to bring about positive results in any of the various contexts in which you interact — whether at work, in organizations, school, community, or family. Kristine Moe is an ICF-certified professional coach (PCC) who partners with individuals to fulfill their personal and professional visions. As a Premier Fellow Coach at BetterUp, she proudly works towards the mission to help humans everywhere pursue their lives with greater clarity, purpose, and passion. She holds a Master of Professional Writing (MPW) degree from USC and is pursuing a Master of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy.

Practice getting comfortable in poses that communicate confidence, authority, and earnestness. Start by uncrossing your arms, rolling your shoulders back, and faking it ‘til you feel it. Perhaps standing up for yourself means being more honest with friends and family. It could mean tossing your idea into the ring during a work meeting. Beware of “fortune-telling,” or imagining the worst case scenario. You can’t predict how others will respond; focus on yourself.

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